112. 5.4. 母親的雙手

 Mother’s Hand 母親的雙手

Night after night, Mom came to tuck me in, even long after my childhood years.  As part of her nightly routine, she would lean down, push my long hair out of the way, and then kiss me on the forehead. 

夜復一夜，母親都會來到床前為我蓋上棉被，把我安頓好，就算我早已不是個孩子了，這些仍是每晚的例行公事！母親會向我傾身，把我的長髮撥到一邊，然後在我額頭上親一下。

 

I don’t remember when it started annoying me—her hands touching my face that way.  But it did annoy me, for they felt rough against my young skin.  One night, I finally roared, “Don’t do that anymore—your hands are too rough!”  When Mom heard this, she stepped out of my room without saying a word.  I lay awake long afterward with my words haunting me.  However, my pride stopped me from saying sorry to her. From that day forward, Mom never finished my day with that familiar expression of her love again. 

我不記得從什麼時候開始，這件事情讓我覺得氣惱—媽媽的手這樣的摸我的臉。不過這真的讓我很厭煩，因為她粗糙的手觸碰到我年輕的肌膚。有一天晚上，我終於對媽媽吼出來了：不要在這樣做了，妳的手太粗糙了！媽媽聽到我這麼說，一語不發地走出房間。之後，我在床上躺了許久，剛才說過的話，也一直縈繞在我心頭。或許是自尊心作祟，我當下沒有向她道歉。從那天起，媽媽不再用我所熟悉的方式來結束我的一天。

 

Time after time, with the passing years, my thoughts returned to that night.  I missed Mom’s hand and her good-night kiss.  Sometimes, the incident seemed very close and sometimes far away, yet it was always there—in the back of my mind. 

隨著歲月的流逝，我的思緒好幾度回到那天晚上的場景。我想念媽媽的手，以及他到晚安的吻。有時候這個事件近在咫尺，而有時候卻又遙不可及。不過，記憶一直都在我腦海中的最深處，永遠不忘！

 

Years have passed, and I am no longer a young girl.  Mom is in her mid-seventies, and those hands that were once thought to be too rough are still taking care of me and my family.  They reach into medicine cabinet for a remedy to calm a girl’s upset stomach or soothe the pain of a boy’s scraped knee.  These very same hands also cook the best fried chicken in the world and serve us ice cream on hot summer days. 

幾年以後，我不再年輕了！而媽媽也大約75歲左右，那雙曾經被我認為是很粗糙的雙手仍然照顧著我和我的家庭。這雙手伸進醫藥櫥櫃，為腸胃不適的女孩尋找藥方，或是緩和男孩膝上擦傷的疼痛。同樣一雙手，為我們做出世界上最美味的炸雞，並在炎炎夏日時，為我們送上透心涼的冰淇淋。

 

Now, my own children are grown and gone, and Mom doesn’t have Dad any longer.  On special occasion, I go to her place and spend the night with her.  One night, as I drifted into sleep in my old bedroom, a loving hand hesitantly stole across my face to brush the hair from my forehead.  Then a kiss, ever so gently, touched my eyebrow. 

現在，我的小孩長大了，也離開家（求學），而爸爸也過世了。在一些特別的時刻，我會去媽媽所住的地方陪伴她。一晚，正當我在舊房間快要睡著時，一雙溫暖的雙手正悄悄地劃過我的臉龐，剝開我額前的頭髮。接著，一個非常輕柔的吻，落在我的眉梢前……

 

For the thousandth time, I recall the night when my young voice had ungratefully complained.  Right then, upon sensing that she was about to leave, I involuntarily seized her hand in mine.  I apologized to her and told her how regretful I was about that night. 

不知道是第幾次了，我又想起我稚嫩的聲音，不知感恩地抱怨著……就在那時，一感覺到媽媽要離開時，我情不自禁地將她的手抓在我手裡。我對媽媽道歉，並告訴她，我對那晚發生的事情有多後悔。

 

To my surprise, Mom didn’t get angry at me.  In fact, she didn’t even remember the incident.  She had forgiven and forgotten long before.  That night, I fell asleep with a new appreciation of my gentle mother and her caring hands.  The guilt I had carried around for so long was nowhere to be found.

令我感到驚訝的是，媽媽並沒有對我生氣。事實上，她甚至不記得當天所發生的事情。在好久好久之前，她就已經原諒我，並且釋懷當天所發生的事了！那天晚上，我重新感謝我溫柔的媽媽與她細心照料我的那雙手。自己長久以來耿耿於懷的罪惡感，也已經消失地無影無蹤了！